Money. It is the bane of us all. We’re either working for it or burning through it and as of right now, what with the economy down the porcelain pisser, things are likely leaning toward the latter side of things. Most certainly the worst thing to come from this isn’t the declining housing market, or the financial instability of basically the entire world, but rather the fact that many of us simply don’t have the cash we need to bring home all those new flashy games the industry keeps popping out. As great as Fallout 3 or GTA IV may be, after two hundred hours of murdering radioactive zombies or capping  hapless motorists through their windshields, most of us are itching for something different. My goal is to bring you to that something as cheaply as possible. I’m not promising the best or brightest the gaming world has to offer, but if you pay me the courtesy of your attention I promise I’ll point you toward some good, often gory, affordable fun.

This week, we’re looking at THQ’s Conan for the PS3 and Xbox 360. I have to admit, I’ve written about bargain games before and Conan has always been one of my favorite titles to bring up. I am an unabashed lover of both God of War and Robert E. Howard’s Cimmerian barbarian so when I heard that a game was coming out that looked to combine these two worlds in a single, gore strewn mess I was ecstatic. Back story aside, Conan is, in short, the most blatant God of War rip off of all time.

Button for button this game plays like Sony’s ultra violent darling and it is a blast because of it. A diluted blast for sure, Conan does have some issues and lacks nearly the kind of polish it would need to compete directly with Kratos, but if you can get past the game’s flaws, it serves almost as a nice little tribute to God of War that at the same time adds it’s own stuff to the mix.

For instance, while the combat is a bit unbalanced at times -enemies cans disrupt your attacks way too easily- the game manages to integrate a rather involved combo and upgrade system. Throughout the game you have the option of picking up the weapons of your fallen enemies and depending on your set up, single handed, dual wielding, or two handed, you have access to a slew of different combos. New moves are unlocked by spending experience points earned in battle and for the most part, while some can be advanced, they are all simple enough for the average gamer to remember. You’ll never need lightning thumbs to tap in the various combos you unlock and generally speaking the visual results of the moves are delightful. The game isn’t overly impressive visually, but it still never gets old to see Conan split a man in two with a gigantic sword or rip out their entrails with a “camel punch.” It’s just a fun thing to play.

Now the bad side of the game. As noted earlier, while Conan has a nice combo system, it also makes it way to easy for the bad guys to stop you from executing said moves. If you’re in the middle of performing an attack and someone manages to hit you, you stop mid-attack and are basically stunned long enough for other enemies to gang up on. Further flaws dog the game. The visuals, again aren’t anything special. The in-game graphics are actually. better then their cut scene counterparts. It isn’t a visual spectacle that you’re going to write home about. Ugly, by no means, is a word you can attach to Conan, but neither is pretty.

The biggest problem with the game though is the general lack of side content. As one might recall, all the God of War games are single player but they also still last you awhile. You can burn through Conan in a good six hours if you want to and after there isn’t much else to do. You can replay the game on a harder difficulty, but going through the same exact thing twice, or even thrice, isn’t generally what people mean when they say replay value. One might ask then, why I’m suggesting such a short game in a column intended to get you back for your buck?

Well, Conan runs pretty cheap nowadays. Back when I first bought it new, for sixty dollars, I was pretty pissed to see the end credits rolling as soon as they did. If I were to buy it new nowadays though, when you can find it Amazon for under ten dollars used, it’s a good deal. Some people will spend ten dollars just to see a movie -Drag Me to Hell wasn’t quite worth it- so complaining about a cheap, fun game being short is a bit silly. So, if it seems like your type of game and you have yet to purchase it, pick up Conan. Crom demands it of you.

Can be found at:
Amazon
Xbox 360: 29.98 New, 6.92 Used
PS3:12.19 Used

GameStop
Xbox 360: 19.99 New, 14.99 Used
PS3:19.99 New

Note: Used Amazon prices are subject to change.